Why Fear of Failure is Preventing Your Success
Your failures are the stepping stones to your success.
Failures are only truly failures when you give up on your way.
F. Failure. I failed. Another great F word, next best after Focus.
No matter how many times you fail, you are not a failure. Please reread this sentence and engrave it into your memory. Why? Because the world, your parents, teachers, coaches, and peers all seem to engrain and espouse the opposite: that failure is bad and that when we fail, we are failures.
In my first year of university, I failed all of my midterms. I had never failed so badly in school before. Why did I fail? Because I didn't study. I thought I could cram as I had in high school, but these university exams were much harder. Being unprepared and not doing my best were my failures. I was a student. It was my duty to study. This I did not do. But even though I had failed miserably, I knew I was not a failure. I decided to study a minimum of two hours every day. By Christmas exam time, my lowest mark was 92, and my highest was 98. But even if I had failed again, I would not have felt like a failure.
As we age, we stop trying new things because we become afraid of failure. If we don't try to learn new things, we can't fail, but our circle of knowledge, experience, and influence remains stagnant and limited. The law of life is growth and experience.
Failure Lays the Foundation for Success
The repeated pains of failure harden the cornerstones of success.
Dr. Kevin Ham
Sara Blakely was told during her family dinners that failure should be celebrated and embraced. This, along with seeing her best friend dying, gave her the courage to do what she believed in. By embracing failure, she created the billion-dollar clothing business called Spanx.
If you think about how you became good at anything you do, it is through practice. Practice makes perfect. Hidden inside this statement lies dozens, hundreds, if not thousands of failures to gain perfection. Playing a song? Playing a sport? It's the amount of repetitions multiplied by the intensity that leads to your result. So, when someone says they practice medicine or law, it means they are making mistakes along the way. It's human.
# of Repetitions x Intensity x Intention = Level of your Result
Larry Bird, one of the greatest shooters in NBA history took 500 free throws every morning before school. My youngest son started practicing three-pointers daily during the Covid pandemic. You raise the level of how many times, then change a few variables. 500 free throws at 90% success in 1 hour, jumpshots, eyes closed …
What Matters is Not Whether You Win or Lose
Whether you win or lose, you can be proud when you’ve given it your all and your best.
Dr. Kevin Ham
Life is not a scoreboard of wins and losses. Every day you are alive, you are in the game of life. The game is not about how much money you can make or how many titles or awards you can get.
What is the scoreboard, then? What is the purpose?
Look around you. Look at how the ants, the bees, the birds, and the butterflies live. They propagate life.
We are alive this day and each day to enter our cocoon. It's a unique cocoon, just for you to transform anew and be reborn in your mind and heart. Have you ever marvelled that what constitutes you came from just 46 chromosomes? But these body parts are not the real you. Your philosophies, values, beliefs, dreams, and purpose are your core.
Are you being you?
Thrive on Failure
Just a reminder:
You are allowed to fail. Really.
See your Magnum Opus, believe in your Magnum Opus, live your Magnum Opus and be your Magnum Opus.
Today’s Life Question:
Are you truly being you?
Dr. Kevin Ham
Just be you.
Next week:
Why Fear of Criticism is Stifling You
Your confidence is made either of sand or bricks. You determine which.
There is a time to listen to others and a time to listen to your heart.
See you next Thursday!
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