Do you value your own thoughts and opinions enough?
Don’t let fear of criticism prevent you from doing what is in your heart
What do you think?
Honour your own thoughts and heart first.
Dr. Kevin Ham
This may be one of the oft-asked questions you ask your friends, family and coworkers. A more critical question is to ask yourself, "What do I think?"
"Cogito, ergo sum." "I think therefore I am." declared Rene Descartes in the early 1600s as he pondered how he existed. Such doubt gave rise to thought, and this thinking declared his existence.
When we have a thought, an idea, an opinion, or a philosophy, why do we tend to doubt its veracity? As we develop our intuition, insight, and inspiration--all that comes from our heart or spirit--we need a logical way of expressing these in words and stories to bypass the logical guards in others' minds before making their way into their creative hearts.
We grow up with wonder and creativity, but over time, we are hammered into thinking mostly logically and scientifically. Without signs or proof of an intangible, an invisible insight or idea does not have merit until it is proven or if we can show it another's vision. This is why so many contrarian ideas seem foolish in foresight but obvious and genius in hindsight.
We become afraid to express those thoughts and ideas that spring up from our hearts--the ones that inspire us--because they are so quickly and easily discarded as being foolish by others. The filter on most people's minds is that of logic, proof, fitting in and conformity. So much so that unless one conforms or fits into the norm or the regulations, they are also quickly discarded as crazy and their idea as pie in the sky.
If I liked to wear bright turquoise or pink pants, many would consider me eccentric. I have been called crazy for so much of my life because many of my thoughts and ideas are contrary to what is the norm. I question why things are the way they are and how they can be reinvented or improved upon. For instance, why does the traditional school system focus on teaching children information rather than empowering them to question things and learn from first principles? Why don't we praise failures when experiments are conducted to find truths and gather insights instead of solely praising good grades? Almost all great discoveries, innovations, businesses and growth have resulted from a series of failed experiments that guided us to a version of the truth.
I think therefore I am. Your thoughts may be foolish, but with continued thinking about your thoughts, words, and actions, your thoughts can one day become wise. We are learning, growing, and loving beings. The moment we cease to do these three things, we diminish as human beings.
As You Think So You Are
Each of us is literally what we think, our character being the complete sum of all our thoughts.
James Allen
Deep in our hearts, we may feel and believe one thing, but outwardly express something that is superficial or contrary to our hearts. We call such a person 'calculating'. This proverb was written by one of the wisest kings in history, King Solomon, who demonstrated his wisdom when two harlots claimed a baby as their own. He ordered the baby to be cut in half and one half given to each mother. The real mother asked out that the baby be given to the other. The false mother asked that it be done, as she had accidentally smothered her baby to death while sleeping and did not want the other mother to have a child. The Hebrew word in this proverb, translated as 'thinketh' can also be translated as 'inwardly calculating'.
James Allen pondered this Proverbs 23:7 and wrote 7 chapters on it in a book entitled by the proverb, "As a Man Thinketh" in 1902. In it he expresses, "Each of us is literally what we think, our character being the complete sum of all our thoughts. Action is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruit. We are the masters of thought, the moulders of character and the makers and shapers of condition, environment and destiny."
If our thoughts shape our character, condition, environment, and destiny, we should really think about our thinking. The thoughts and opinions of others about our thoughts and ideas should be like mirrors to us, but what is truly important is our deep understanding of our own thoughts. This is presaged by the age-old wise oracle to "Know thyself."
Criticism is but a Different Perspective
Since everyone is unique, each will have their own perspective. This difference is what we perceive to be criticism.
Dr. Kevin Ham
Even the most popular book has its lovers and its haters. If you don't have any thoughts or opinions, there is nothing to love or hate. If you express no thoughts, what is your existence? The moment you have an idea you want to express, consider to whom you are expressing it. If you express it to experts, you may gain a valuable perspective and insight. If it's to people without any expertise or experience in the matter, what they have to offer is likely a mere matter of opinion.So then the question is how deeply have you thought about what you have just expressed?
I've started many businesses. I've failed many times, but I've succeeded many times too. The great home run hitters were also the ones who struck out the most. I go for home runs in my ventures. I value customers' perspectives, but as Henry Ford said, "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." As in the scientific method, I should have a hypothesis that I believe to be true, craft out my assumption that I must disprove, gather the relevant data and conclude if my hypothesis has merit. We call this agile experimentation. I believe this works in almost every field, not just science and business. What we assume to believe, we need to experiment first through thought experiments as Einstein did, then through real experiments as quickly as we can. This is a skill and secret of life.
I've come to a personal conclusion for myself regarding criticism. Take it all in, and consider it deeply. Discard what is not useful, adopt what is helpful, and give yourself space between the criticism and the response with a statement like, "That's interesting. Let me ponder that a bit. Thanks." When people tell me how I should name or run my business, I consider if they've built a startup and how seriously I should take their criticism of the name or idea of my business. If they are a customer who would pay money, I will listen more carefully.
1000 True Fans and 1 True Friend
I only really cherish a small number of people. My heart can only hold so many.
Dr. Kevin Ham
Credit: Emmanuel Lafont
I heard that if you sell 10,000 books, you would be in the top 1% of all authors for all time. 90% of books sell less than 1000 copies. I've contemplated why this is. Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist proposed that a person has 150 meaningful relationships. This consists of just five loved ones, followed by 15 good friends, 50 friends, 150 meaningful contacts, 500 acquaintances and 1500 people you can recognize. So if all your friends and acquaintances bought your book, it's still hard to sell 1000 copies. When I started my Linkedin following, it was hard for me to get 1000 followers from my existing real-life relationships. I now have 45,000 followers, but most of them I do not have a bidirectional meaningful relationship with.
I hope to publish books in my sixties and sell over 10,000 copies :). When it comes to business, your goal should be to get 1000 true fans. This implies the quality of the relationship is more important than the quantity. It allows you to find your target niche and those whom you service and how. When it comes to life, your goal should be to have five true friends. Lifelong friends. There are friends for a reason, friends for a season. But lifelong through all the ups and downs is special.
Why is this important? With true fans and true friends, you can express yourself and your ideas and have believers give you true feedback that you would not be defensive about because you have built such a strong foundation of trust. Criticism by those who aren't within your inner circles of trust then needs the circle of expertise.
Upon this foundation, you can figure out product-market fit for business and character-life fit for personal.
I gave the opportunity for 100 friends and family to invest in my new AI startup. 80% invested, saying they believed in me and that I would figure it out. They knew it was high risk and could lose their investment but were betting on me to hit it out of the park. This is more valuable to me than all the money they have invested, close to $10 million USD. It fuels me and inspires me while giving me deep accountability.
Life Question:
Do you really think about your thinking?
What are your five most important thoughts?
Write them down now.
Think about them deeply, three to five layers deep
Next week:
Are you willing to pay the price to get what you want?
Every great accomplishment in life requires a sacrifice.
See you next Thursday!
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