Why your external drive is not enough. What’s inside of you?

Most people get depressed when they reach their goal because there is nothing more to obtain and hope dies.

Kevin Ham

Michael Phelps set the record for most gold medals in an Olympic game with eight golds. His dreams were more than realized. Then depression hit hard. He had worked all his life for this moment: 23 golds, 28 total medals. After the 2004 Olympic golds, he felt the post-Olympic blues and often felt suicidal, and this became more pronounced the more medals he won. Why?

Dopamine momentarily surges to new heights after we achieve a goal and then after the joy and excitement fades, it drops… It drops below the baseline. Mood plummets. This is the science behind postpartum depression and after other goals and dreams are realized.

While there is a goal and a drive to obtain that goal, what happens after the goal is accomplished?

Is More Better and Does More Make You Happy?

The day you discover less is more is the day you start living.

Dr. Kevin Ham

What is the goal? More... Success? Money? Fame? Power? Status? Happiness? Health? Joy? Peace?

Simon Sinek's famous three circles point out the obvious. Most people focus on the What, then the How, and perhaps the Why. Instead, we should focus deep within and focus on the Why, then the How, and then the What.

Simon Sinek’s Three Circles

Our focus on the Whats drive us to seek after more and more--even after getting one big What.  What is your purpose? What is your Why? The reason to be? Whether personal or professional.

I've often pondered my drive for more, even after much success. What is driving me. Why do I feel so alive when I am starting something new, something big and all the while, I know just how much time and energy it will take in the remaining time I have left?

Harper Lee published one novel, which became a hit, winning the Pulitzer Prize: To Kill a Mockingbird. She never published another book, opting to stay out of the spotlight. She told the story of moral courage amid racial injustice. She told her story and the stories of so many throughout history, as she saw growing up in Alabama.

The same goes for Margaret Mitchell and Gone with the Wind. Neither of these authors felt the need to win another Pulitzer Prize or write best-sellers to define themselves. Their why had been accomplished, and it was enough.

These days, in my mid-50s, I am driven much more by purpose and meaning than the Whats. In 2007, I was on the cover of a business magazine I adored and on the front pages of many international newspapers. I had tasted great success, but I let it melt, not speaking with any reporters or venture capitalists, even as they clamoured all around me.

Everyone is Remembered By a Sentence

The man who freed the slaves and held America together during its darkest hour.

The man who wore simple clothes, walked in silence, and brought down an empire by starving, without lifting a sword.

Do you recognize each person above by what they did? Can you tell who they are by what they did? Can you tell why they did what they did?

Abraham Lincoln saw an enslaved person in chains when he was young and thought that if he ever had the power to free such enslaved people, he would.  Born into poverty and raised with little formal education, he rose through perseverance, self-study, and deep moral conviction. As a lawyer, debater, and eventually the 16th President of the United States, he fought for liberty, for a nation  "conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal."

Gandhi was a lawyer educated in the UK, but when he travelled to South Africa, he was thrown off the train for being Indian, even though he had a first-class ticket. That injustice shaped his life. His life mission was to "Awaken the soul of a nation and lead by example--with humility, truth and love," He didn't wish for power. He wanted people to realize their own power--the power of truth, moral courage and peace. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

What is your one sentence?

Life Question:

Who am I?

I am a spiritual being living in a human body, not a human body with a spirit.

Bob Proctor

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Gandhi

You are not your body. You are in your body.

Dr. Kevin Ham

Next week:
Why Multitasking Makes You Ordinary

Even an hour of deep, focused work a day can produce extraordinary results.

See you next Thursday!

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